Writers block? Maybe. Disimpassioned? Certainly not. I recall when I first joined USC Scribe and selected the topic for my blog that I would publish each week. I was thrilled and excited to write about issues like women’s rights, children’s rights and gender topics. Week after week I’ve researched and produced works on these issues but in recent weeks I have begun to want to put off these pieces. It wasn’t because I was lazy or didn’t care anymore, I simply began to feel disheartened and angry at the level of ignorance much of the world still possessed regarding my topics. Every time I would write I would fall into a terrible mood out of my frustration that certain acts were happening in our modern society that claims to be so enlightened.
My blog started out covering issues with dry political bias against women, laws and legislation that seemed to be put aside because of forgetfulness and lack of priorities rather than pure hate and sexism against women. Slowly but surely my topics began to explore alarming and horrifying trends of heightened sexism and a belief in female subordination from a portion of the general public. I would see articles with pictures of women holding up signs claiming, “Women Against Feminism” or read horror stories such as the Florida beach public gang rape case.
What I saw was contempt for a whole half of the world’s population sometimes even being held in contempt by members of that very same half. Women against women, was perhaps the toughest issue to swallow. Were my views that radical? Was I too sensitive about these topics? Was thinking that there is still a very real lack of respect for women in our society unrealistic?
It became dizzying to all take in. I felt more and more scared of the world I lived in. I was conducting research by reading forums that glorified the UCSB shooter, claiming that by killing women because women rejected him made him a hero. The logic was twisted and self pitying time after time by groups that seemed to truly have it out for any female on the planet.
I had become very aware of how real these issues were past the political debates. Was it time to start researching a little less into the negative and start to begin to surround myself with positive stories? I want to look forward to my writing again and to feel inspired to write, not anxious about it. Ignorance is bliss, and I am far from ignorant on the current level of these issues, but if I do not begin to find more positive topics I fear that writing will become something I resent rather than enjoy.