By: Eric Weintraub
I know the last thing you want to hear is another dissertation about how inner beauty always overcomes physically beauty and blah, blah, blah… so I’ll try to address this issue in a way that leaves out all that lovey, dovey nonsense. In a perfect world, everyone would date the person that was most compatible for them. But let’s be realistic: the first time you meet a girl you don’t think, “Wow, we have so much in common!” You think, “Wow, she’s hot as hell!” Physical appearance as the male basis for attraction is a truth we all need to accept. However, while I won’t say this truth is lame or shallow, I will say it fails to see the big picture. Sure looks are all you need if you’re drunk and hooking up at the TKE rush party, but if you’re trying to meet a girl who you could honestly see yourself having a relationship with, you need to make sure she’s more than just a pretty face.
Letting yourself be overwhelmed by attraction can blind you from the fact that the perfect ten you like is an imperfect partner. Your poor judgment will kick in as you try harder and harder to make up excuses in your mind for why things with her aren’t working out the way they should: “She probably didn’t laugh at my joke because I wasn’t funny,” “She probably isn’t returning my calls because she’s really busy,” “She probably stood me up because she locked her keys in her car.” Guys always lie to themselves this way because they refuse to accept the fact that they made a mistake picking a potential love interest. The point of the matter is, if a girl is right for you she will laugh at your stupid jokes, she will return your calls, and she will show up for your date – even if she really does lock her keys in her car. Women don’t sabotage relationships the way men think they do. If getting involved with a girl doesn’t feel simple and natural, then the relationship isn’t meant to be.
Men could learn a thing or two from women, who have already mastered the art of not falling for physical beauty alone. All too often we’ve all seen a drop dead gorgeous woman dating a below average guy. No, it’s not because the guy’s rich or famous – it’s because the woman was attracted to something in the guy despite his balding head and bulging stomach: his compatible personality! These are the kinds of women who have realized that the best looking person isn’t always the smartest match and decided to be with someone who they could make a real connection with beyond looks. I’m not saying you need to date someone you’re not attracted to – in fact, you need attraction to keep the romance alive. All I’m saying is don’t make a girl your end all be all just because she looks like she belongs on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. If you look hard enough, chances are you’ll find a girl who’s just as cute as her, and even more compatible – even if she locks her keys in her car.