Wanna know how I just spent the last week? Watching The Vampire Diaries, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. The boys are attractive. The girls are pretty. The town is adorable. And there is lots of gut-wrenching gore. It’s fabulous meets creepy, and I love it.
So, without further adieu….Life Lessons of The Vampire Diaries (Season One):
1. Date your dead girlfriend’s doppelganger.
It’s the best way to get over her, and lots of kinky confusion will ensue when said doppelganger dresses up like said dead girlfriend. Lots of kinky confusion.
2. Be skeptical of your history teacher.
He may seem like he’s just that jerky guy Warner from Legally Blonde, but he could really be a vampire hunter with a soft spot for…well….vampires.
3. A key ingredient in any vampire’s toolkit? Eyeliner.
Because you just aren’t manly without some charcoal-lined eyes.
4. If your name isn’t Elena, Stefan, or Damon, you will die.
It’s inevitable; don’t fight it.
5. Alcohol helps with blood cravings.
I think I’ll try that excuse next time I’m at a family gathering. Just pull out my flask, point to my niece’s skinned knee, and smile.