By Sarah Ingerson
I hate zombie movies. Let me repeat that. I HATE them. I just don’t find the whole decaying flesh and brain eating thing appealing, or scary. The only exception to this rule of zombie hate is 28 Days Later because those zombies are disturbingly fast and Cilian Murphy is disturbingly attractive. Oh, and Shaun of the Dead because I want a zombie to play video games with. But other than that, me no like zombies.
That is, until now. Ever since I watched the pilot episode of The Walking Dead I have been hooked. It defies the formula of traditional, procedural dramas by leaving things unfinished. It doesn’t neatly wrap up its storylines at the end of each episode. Instead, it feels like a movie that you had to stop watching halfway through, and it keeps you riveted.
So, for this blog, I decided to dissect the life lessons of the third episode of The Walking Dead. Because, quite frankly, it’s all I had time to watch this weekend.
Life Lessons of The Walking Dead:
1. Zombies can’t walk sideways.
As evident through their inability to squeeze through a partially open door. I’d peg it on the whole obesity thing but the decaying flesh would be easy to rip off in order to shed any extra poundage.
2. Zombie-ism is a healthier, greener lifestyle choice.
Think about it. They walk everywhere. They live off of the land and don’t waste time showering. They aren’t overweight. Even American zombies!
3. Don’t shoot a zombie in the face.
It may be satisfying at the time, but it could also attract a bunch of other zombies who will then eat your face.
4. Re-think that whole cutting off your arm thing.
Sure, it seemed cool when that guy who went rock climbing did it, but when people are legitimately on their way to rescue you, it’s pretty pointless.
5. When fleeing for your life, grab batteries.
You’ll want them for your vibrating ‘body’ massager….men are scarce in a post-apocalyptic world.
So, there you have it, a small sampling of life lessons. I hope they piqued your interest and made you want to watch The Walking Dead because the show is AWESOME, and making me want to completely geek out and go buy the comic book. My first ever comic book. I have reached new levels of dorkdom.