By now even if people haven’t seen the catcalling video of the woman walking around New York, people have at least heard of it. A woman filmed herself for several hours walking around New York enduring a wide range of comments from men on her appearance. The woman was followed, yelled at, hollered at and it was clear that she was uncomfortable with all of this. The video was produced by Hollaback, an organization that aims to end catcalling and to in some way or another make it illegal.
While I am not in full agreement with catcalling being illegal, simply because it might be difficult to define “hey how are you doing?” as sexual assault , I do think that American society beginning with the family and the home need to raise children to be respectful human beings and to value manners, to not want to traumatize or harass a fellow human. I would call on families to raise young men not to yell sexually assaulting remarks at a woman walking home from work or school. The issue with catcalling is that it can be broadly defined. The other issue is that women perceive different comments differently depending on their cultural, religious, or otherwise moral background. Catcalling in it’s definition is not meant as a compliment, catcalling then is something that a woman decides for herself and decides if the words make her uncomfortable.
In my own personal mindset, I appreciate receiving compliments on appearance, in fact from my understanding many women I know personally do like compliments on appearance. There is a vast difference to me however, between getting a polite compliment and being cat called. I do not like walking down the street and having some man yell something sexual at me regarding my appearance, because that is not meant to empower me and make me feel good, it is meant to demean me. The issue with catcalling and where I find the line is drawn is when men are drawing very specific attention to a woman being purely a sexual object and using demeaning and harassing terminology. When I say I appreciate compliments on an outfit or appearance that doesn’t include sexually harassing remarks and vile language because obviously that isn’t a compliment. The attitude and the language chosen are all very specific regarding the line being crossed when catcalling becomes actual sexual harassment. If a woman is uncomfortable, if she feels like she is being attacked by the words being said, it is in fact sexual harassment. A co-worker saying “you look nice today” in a polite well mannered way is different than a co-worker saying “damn you look hot today, your ass looks nice in that skirt”. However, perhaps different women would feel differently about both of those sentences, some women might be uncomfortable with both, neither, or one and not the other. This is why it is so difficult to pinpoint catcalling and all it’s forms as illegal. As a feminist I give the power to the individual woman and her right to deem whatever she feels uncomfortable with and what she sees as something that needs to stop. I stand by the woman who does not want someone complimenting on her looks. I stand by the woman who likes getting the compliments on her curves. I stand by women and their power to define what catcalling means to them and give them the power to draw their own lines, because as society we have no right to draw their lines for them.
I recently read an article titled, ” Feminists Jealous of Catcalls and Speaking to Women Walking in New York City”, I had to laugh out loud as soon as I read the title. First off the author clearly needs to understand what a feminist is, secondly the accusation that Feminist hate women looking beautiful and receiving compliments is perhaps the most absurd non fact based piece of information I’ve read to date. To give you some context about this article the author sites Rush Limbaugh as one of her sources for her facts. This article discussed the authors view that the woman in the video shouldn’t have worn tight clothes because that meant she was asking to be harassed. So clearly the author believed that the woman was asking to be harassed? It it attitudes similar to this that keep the rape culture of “she was asking to be raped because of what she was wearing” alive. Catcalling is not the fault of any woman, just as being raped is not any victims fault. It is the fault and choice of the aggressor who creates and carries out these aggressive actions. No one should have to feel uncomfortable walking on the street. I do not believe making catcalling illegal is the solution. The solution is to start from the fundamental core of society which is the family and encourage the value of raising people to have a general respect for one another and to not subject each other to humiliation. The basic fundamental value of respect and understanding boundaries must be reinstated into American society if we are to end this sort of harassment.
I know where I stand on catcalling, I know that to me catcalling and compliments are two very different things. I know what I deem acceptable and unacceptable, what I find flattering and what I find demeaning. I encourage women to explore their own values and beliefs to define what that means to them.
I absolutely think catcalling should be illegal. People who live in nice areas or small towns or otherwise aren’t walking around on a daily basis don’t understand. I’ve lived in up-&-coming downtown districts (ghettos) for a few years, and I walk several blocks to reach public transportation then take public transportation for over 90 minutes twice a day. I am harassed all the time. I carry pepperspray and I can run pretty fast, but that doesn’t make receiving “compliments” from creepy men any less creepy.
Even “You’re beautiful” or “God bless you” are inappropriate because men don’t compliment other men on the street, or women accompanied by men. It’s because men respect other men, but not single women. A woman is a commodity to these people. They feel entitled to judge a woman’s appearance and then tell her what they think, and there’s no good way to respond. Ignoring catcalls is often met with hostility, insults, hollers demanding acknowledgment. Making eye contact or smiling is seen as an invitation to say more, approach, get too close. You think I look good? Keep that opinion to yourself. If I want strangers to approach me and sexually judge my appearance, I’ll go to a bar, thanks. I have the right to be treated with respect in public spaces and not to be forced to hear male opinions when I’m just trying to commute.
A law against catcalling is not going to bring in a bunch of arrests. I have been cat called hundreds of times, but never in front of a police officer. What it will do is send the message that society won’t tolerate men trying to intimidate, sexually proposition, judge, or harass women on the street. What it will do is let those boys who weren’t “raised right” clue in to the fact that what they’re doing is wrong (and gross). It will make a man inclined to harass a woman think twice, and discourage sexual entitlement. No one is going to press charges against a friendly man saying good morning. But it will set a precedent that will empower women to seek justice for the most egregious catcalls.