This week, I took a break from the high-budget boredom of Hollywood’s recent sci-fi films (I’m looking at you, Surrogates and Repo Men) and took a chance on one of their low-budget, cheesy counterparts. Emphasis on the cheese. Inspired by my love of Joss Whedon and my perusal of Netflix’s recommendation section, I decided to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer in all its 1992, campy glory, and quickly realized that I have a lot to learn from this early 90s sci-fi comedy.
Life Lessons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
1. Sometimes, it’s okay to follow strange men into graveyards.
Because you never know when that man will turn out to be Donald Sutherland telling you about your destiny to slay the undead because you have some mole on the left side of your chest. Guess I’d better start sharpening my stakes.
2. If you’re in a sexual rut, just try shoving popcorn down your throat.
Because nothing says romance like swapping spit-covered popcorn kernels stuck to the roof of your mouth!
3. Forget carbon emissions. The main threats to the environment are litter, forest fires, and bugs.
But really,…mostly just bugs.
4. Slayers wear old man shorts.
Because let’s face it, how can you kill someone with such bad fashion sense?
5. Lady Cramps=A Vampire Slayer’s Tom-Tom.
The more you hurt, the closer you are to the undead! It’s very useful. You know, in case the vampire’s sparkling fangs, red lipstick, and pointy ears don’t give it away.
And there you have it, a sampling of the many life lessons from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I definitely want to try watching the show again. Now that I have a true appreciation for the world that is Joss Whedon’s Buffy. But I’ll probably just stick to the slayings on Supernatural. Because that show has Jensen Ackles. Enough said.
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