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The Don’ts of Dating: Don’t Avoid Asking if She Has a Boyfriend

October 29, 2010 by EricW Leave a Comment

By Eric Weintraub

To quote my good friend Dominick (who was probably quoting someone wittier than himself), “When a girl is in a relationship, you have one guy to compete with, but when she’s single, everyone on Earth is against you.” While Dominick proposes an amusing argument, going after a girl in a relationship is not a good idea and I would never recommend wasting your time trying to be with someone who is committed to someone else. However, let’s face it, girls don’t exactly walk around with signs around their necks displaying their relationship statuses and it’s not always easy to pick out the single ones from the taken ones. Many times the single girl on Facebook turns out to be in a relationship while the girl wearing a ring on her wedding finger is not. I’ve found that if there is a girl you are interested in, it is essential that you find out if she has a boyfriend before you try and make a move.

Figuring out if a girl is single can be a surprisingly delicate issue. While straight up asking, “Are you single?” may seem to be an innocent enough question – the girl might find your obvious forwardness jarring. The key is to ask her, without asking her. Try putting your question about her availability within the context of something else. For example, let’s say you find the girl sitting next to you in class attractive. Strike up a conversation with her about how your weekend went. By simply asking about her weekend, she’s bound to give you enough good information to find out if she’s single. If she’s in a relationship she will almost definitely tell you about some date she went on with the guy, but if she doesn’t mention a boyfriend, chances are she doesn’t have one – but there’s no guarantee.

Unfortunately, there are enough exceptions and contradictions in this topic to fill the length of a Tolstoy novel. A single girl might not announce she’s single because she thinks you know, while a taken girl might not announce she’s taken because it’s nobody’s business. At the same time, a single girl might say she’s in a relationship to ward of pestering guys, while a taken girl might withhold the information because she likes you. I know I’m making this seem like an over complicated topic but that’s only because I can’t stress enough the importance of mastering this Don’t. Fortunately, now that I’ve taught you how this process of the dating game works, it shouldn’t be such a baffling task. It’s worth the time to make sure she’s available and likes you before getting in too deep. Remember, when a girl is in a relationship, you only have one guy to compete with, but when she’s single, the only guy that matters is you.


EricW

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