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The Don’t of Dating: Don’t Be Yourself…

November 2, 2010 by EricW Leave a Comment

By Eric Weintraub

…be your best self. I’ve found in the dating world, there are two very opposite stances on how people believe a guy should behave on a date. He can either 1) be himself or 2) make everything up in the hopes of being more interesting. While I know number one is morally the right thing to do, you can hurt your chances with a girl when you act completely natural around her, like the way you would around a group of your closest friends. At the same time, while lying your head off sounds like an easier way to get a girl to like you, she’ll likely be able to figure out you’re full of it from the get go and never see you again. Being your best self is the happy medium between these two approaches to dating and I’ve found that by being your best self, you get to be honest and open with a girl, without the risk of doing something that might turn her off.

You have to emphasize your best features, and hide the ones that are less than intriguing. Let me use myself in an example. If I were to go on a date being my true self, I’d wear plaid shorts and a striped t-shirt. There’s nothing wrong with wearing these things most of the time, but when I’m taking her out, I want to dress to impress – or at least not to clash. On the flip side, if I were to go on a date and make everything up, I’d rent an Armani suit and borrow my mom’s Infiniti to show off. While I’ll definitely make an impression doing this, the girl will know this isn’t the real me and I’ll likely never see her again. Now if I were to find the happy medium and go on a date as my best self, I would wear nice clothes that I myself own and for once in my life wash my ’95 Toyota Camry on my way to pick her up. This way I’m showing that I want to look nice, without coming off as a total poser.

Being your best self falls into every aspect of dating from the things you do together to the topics you discuss. Just remember that while this tip is important as a jumping off point in a relationship, you are encouraged to show her the real you when things start to move to the next level. Eventually you’ll need to be yourself so that the two of you can make sure you are compatible with one another. This means eventually revealing those deep, dark secrets you possess and hoping she doesn’t go running for the hills. So if you can get a girl to like you despite the fact that you have a Star Wars t-shirt, a Cheez-It’s addiction, and a Nintendo 64 console you can’t quite bring yourself to throw out – your relationship will be solid.


EricW

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