This week we have another exciting installment of knowledge from abroad. Without further ado, some “rules of the road” from Amsterdam.
1. Tequila is not conducive to studying.
2. Neither is beer.
3. Neither is wine.
4. Having a lovely canal-side windowsill makes for a great place to hang out, have a glass of wine, and maybe sing some of your favorite songs while enjoying the view. Keep in mind though, that when you visit the bar across the street for some drinks later, they will know it was you–give it some thought before you opt to sing your favorite Michael Jackson song in falsetto.
5. Michael Jackson songs are always appreciated. Bonus points if you dance in the window–you can get an ovation from people eating at the outdoor restaurant across the canal.
6. Tourists move in groups, they move slowly, and they can’t seem to hear very well. If you see some ahead in the bike lane, start ringing your bell early, or you could risk faceplanting into someone’s shoulder or being struck by an unruly handbag.
7. It takes about a week of drinking coffee every day for my addiction to be revived and well. Find a place with cheap coffee!
8. Sometimes it’s a better idea to wear your bike lights on yourself instead of the bike–it keeps them from falling off or being stolen while you’re off at the bar. Plus if you leave them on all night maybe they’ll keep your drunken ass from plowing into someone on the dance floor.
9. If you’re planning to start or join a cypher, get off your bike first, you look like a tool. (You know who you are!)
10. The misconception that freestyle rapping is mostly about yelling repeated profanities, “yo yo yo,” and repeating the same word over and over is alive and well worldwide–watch out.
11. But it can be hilarious to watch and laugh…and film.
12. Wonderwall is the ultimate song for international sing-alongs. Make use of it often!
13. Singing along to the Ghostbusters theme while pregaming on a Wednesday night can attract the RA to come shut your sh*t down, but it’s totally worth it.
14. If you find a juicer on the side of the canal at night, take it–it just might work.
15. Do not, I repeat, do not turn to look at yourself in a window to gauge how stupid your leopard outfit is on your way to the party on your bike. You will probably almost get hit by a car!