To my fellow horror movie lovers, this blog is a most momentous occassion because I have decided to analyze my favorite horror film of all time. And no, it’s not Psycho or The Exorcist. It’s something much, much better. The Nun. OoOo. It’s hilarious, and awesome, and surprisingly unscary for a horror film. To this day, pretty sure there was only one scary scene in the movie (a blurry nun floating in the background). But, you should see it because it’s AMAZING. So, without further adieu, the life lessons of THE NUN!!!!
Life Lessons of The Nun:
1. Not all water is holy.
Sure, it’s the tagline, but it’s a vital lesson nevertheless.
2. When committing suicide, think outside the box.
So many people have hanged themselves or overdosed on sleeping pills that they’re kind of cliche. So, think outside of the box. Be like the heroine in this movie and harpoon yourself. The bewildering physics of it all will have people talking about you for years.
3. Never try to climb out of a broken-down elevator.
Seriously, how many times does this have to happen in movies before people stop doing it?
4. Shoving water up someone’s crotch does not an abortion make.
5. If your toilet attacks your face, don’t call a plumber.