Get excited, everyone! Because they day you have been waiting for is finally here! The first horror film! Cue the celebratory body shots! Or, you know, just eat a cookie. That’s more my style in terms of celebrations.
But anywho, after putting off horror films for the past few weeks (because living in South Central can be scary enough on its own sometimes) I decided to journey to the lovely U.V. and pay a whopping $4.50 for a matinee showing of Paranormal Activity 2. Because I didn’t want to be creeped out on the bike ride home. Yep, I’m a big, strong man. 😀
So, without further adieu, here is my list…
Life Lessons from Paranormal Activity 2:
- Boys are overrated.
Because you never know if your grandmother made a deal with a demon to sell the soul of your family’s firstborn son in exchange for lots of money. Seriously, it would explain a lot, right?
- Demons just want to play.
Specifically, with toys intended for toddlers. Maybe the whole crossing over thing makes them forget their shapes and numbers?
- Possessed people like to bite you.
I’d recommend putting one of those giant, neck cones around them and tying them to a bed post. But don’t try anything kinky…at least not until after the exorcist gets there.
- If you have video surveillance, look at it.
Because then, you might notice that one time your baby levitated. And stop debating whether the house is haunted.
- Quija boards…just don’t do it.
Seriously, it may just be a piece of plastic and some cardboard, but it’s laced with karmic arsenic. So, unless you are in the mood to get ripped apart but some hell hounds….just say no.
And there you have it, life lessons from this blog’s first horror film! I hope you liked them, but don’t expect another horror film anytime soon. Last night, I had a dream that spiders were crawling all over me. I think it’s a sign.
*Side note: I watched five episodes of Fringe this weekend. Only five more episodes of Season 2!!! And then I can catch up with Season 3. I know what I’ll be doing over Thanksgiving Break!
Thanks Sarah! This was amazing! Thanks for taking the time to write this article.