Life Lessons for Earthlings and Others: I Really Need a Life

By Sarah Ingerson

Hello, readers! Happy belated April Fool’s (since I didn’t blog last week)! May your day have been filled with ketchup-filled jelly donuts and awkwardly placed whoopie cushions! My day, however, was only been filled with one thing…hence my not blogging. So, get ready for it, get ready for it….this post is a super-special video-game edition! That’s right. This blog will be devoted to the in-depth examination of Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge. Yes, a video-game iis technically breaking the rules, and yes, it’s for children but it’s all I’ve been doing with my life for these past two weeks, so I figured it deserved some public, internet-propagated gesture of love. That, and I need to validate my hobby by encouraging other people to play it too. Somehow it makes the fact that I’ve played 22 out of 23 of these games a little less pathetic. Emphasis on little.

Life Lessons of Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge, Part One:

1. Stealing things is okay.
People won’t notice, and that random screwdriver you picked up may come in handy one day!

2. Robot cats can kill you.
But it’s okay. If you mess up, you can just “try again.”

3. Robot ghosts can kill you.
Or at least try to drown you with the help of lots of ropes. Luckily, you picked up that random sword the other day so you can cut through them.

4. With a pocket dictionary, you can translate anything.
From bus stop signs to newspaper articles. Not even language barriers can stop you now.

5. Conventional locks are overrated.
Hide your stuff in a Japanese puzzle box, or a nanogram-sealed safe. No one will ever be bored enough to spend hours opening it. Not even me…because on that last one I cheated and looked the answers up on a walkthrough.